Ter Scott explains about being a "Life and Legacy" Coach
Have you ever felt like a “fraud”? As I was in the "act" of becoming to the point where I felt confident in helping others or even having something worthy to share, many times I felt like that maybe I wasn't genuine or the "real deal". Maybe with my sharing today, you'll relate and perhaps be helped in some way...
The “world” may tell you that you are unworthy, that you’ll never be able to do something, or any other negative (I don’t even know what words to say here because I don’t think “negative” so much any longer) phrase, sentence; they are just throwing any negativity at you that they can.
You start to believe it, your mind belittles you, your talk condemns you to a life and lifestyle. And guess what? You aren’t alone!
I was the same way; actually for most of my life. Maybe I never really knew it or just didn’t want to admit it, but I was always living my life to please others and did not want to do something which caused others to think less of me. I admit that this is still a (small) monster of negativity that lurks about.
Here’s another “guess what?” Other people are too busy thinking about themselves and living their lives. They aren’t really thinking so much about you; (well maybe a little; and maybe they care “a little” for you but mostly) they are thinking about themselves.
These negative beliefs that I held kept me from moving forward. It was like owing someone money and when seeing them, walking on the other side of the street so they would not see you. Or not being successful because when “success” was in a room and someone who said these negative things about you were also there, that you would leave. All of these things kept me “down” or at least “slowed” my journey. Worse, these all kept me from my life purpose: helping other people. I lived most of my life thinking that I had to be a success before I was worthy, before I could share my knowledge, experiences and insights with others. Other speakers were greater than me. Other instructors more experienced. Teachers with fame and followers were more worthy. For me to think that I was one of them would make me a fraud.
If you feel the same, I want to share a few things that helped me and I believe will help you to also stop what is keeping you from going forward to reach and achieve the success you deserve.
When I am teaching and presenting, I genuinely know that:
1. It’s not about me.
I am sharing things that will help others (you) that I learned from others and am just passing on.
2. I am the “conduit”.
You can get this information and help “through” me. With this in mind, don’t look at me, look at the results. When you want electricity, you don’t stare at the electrical wires; you enjoy the results of what the electricity does for you to power what you want powered. When you want water from the tap, you don’t stare (or care) about the pipes; that is unless the water doesn’t pour out. You enjoy the water!
3. I am the “messenger” (don’t kill me).
I simply bring the message.
Now I realized that today as it was before, that there are people who will still look at “me”, the “conduit”, and the “messenger” and not the message! They may say things like: “So who are you?”, “If you are so smart, why ain’t you rich?”, “How much money you makin’?”, and other (unenlightened) questions. But today I am changed; I am enlightened and better understand their actions and statements.
This morning I heard on the radio, about a mayor of a small town in Minnesota who recently walked into his neighborhood bar one night (after work) for an adult beverage. He was off work and everything was “cool”; that is until an 81 year old, inebriated man (who had been there drinking all day) started swearing and yelling at the mayor. The mayor came to the guy and took him by the collar and told him something like “If you were younger and not drunk, I’d take you outside and kick the crap out of you” (my paraphrase). He just “shook him up a bit” but the guy fell forward and on the floor. Fortunately the old man was not hurt, but everything was caught on the bar’s camera which made the TV news. My opinion is that the mayor should have been more “mature” and enlightened to be able to just “let it go”. Here was an 81 year old man (who was drunk so he wasn’t being rational) calling him names, accusing him of being a bad mayor, and swearing and yelling. So what?! When you are enlightened, you just drink your beverage and leave. These things are all just “mental Kung Fu” where you “dodge” anything thrown at you. My point is that I was a lot like this mayor who, should not have given this guy any attention at all. So here I am, finally accepting and letting people know that I have a message, knowledge, and important tools to help and I’m now making myself available to do so.
I am a “Life and Legacy Coach” ™.
There are many types of coaches out there, in the world, but I am specifically a “life and legacy” coach; meaning that I help people to have a better life and leave a legacy. Maybe it’s because I’m older now that “leaving a legacy” seems so important. If I can get people to plan their legacy at a younger age (or sooner in life) they can get on with (real) living!
So my emphasis is on helping other people to the extent that I don’t even hear the “voices” of those people who ask “unenlightened” questions or say negative things.
I realize now that I don’t have to be perfect; I don’t have to be (with my definition) completely “whole” before sharing what I know to be able to help others.
I used to teach at a business university. Every quarter I had a new group of students who of course did not know what I knew. They were there to learn what I knew. But, for some strange reason, I found myself thinking that these new students already knew what I knew. I had to always remind myself that even though I was repeating knowledge, and personal stories that I had probably shared a hundred times with earlier classes, that this was a new audience who really needed my offerings.
My knowledge, experiences and insights can, and will indeed help others who are searching.
Everything is a choice and I choose every day to not pay attention to the naysayers and pay it forward by being the best “life and legacy” coach that I can be.
What choices are you making today?
Life and Legacy Coach